were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
