i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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