So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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