He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
