butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize