I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
