I think I am morally bankrupt
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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