are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
