i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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