9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize