i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
