we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize