McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My feet surprised me
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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