I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Randomize
