he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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