Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!

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(516): View more from New York

so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me

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(813): View more from Florida

peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week

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(416): View more from Toronto

When did you hit me on the head with a stool?

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(614): View more from Ohio

I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see

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(616): View more from Michigan

Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.

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(630): View more from Illinois

How did I end up in some random dudes car?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.

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