I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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