Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
this is an emotional support booty call
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
