are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
