he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
