I cockslap morals
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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