Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
