Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
