I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
