it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
