Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
