what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
