Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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