you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
