Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
