I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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