She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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