Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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