Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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