If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wish I only lived at night.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
