weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
