I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
