need another drink. this is the easiest way
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
