Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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