No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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