Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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