Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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