I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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