I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
