A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
