walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
