You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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