and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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