sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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