My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
