Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
