Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I understand Curling. That high.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
