obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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