he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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